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Attachment theory is based on the understanding, that similar to the need for food and rest, people have an innate desire for emotional connection.
…explores behaviour patterns related to forming bonds with others - and how these patterns affect which people you are attracted to, the things that upset you, your relational strengths and challenges, how you respond to conflict and so much more.
In this post, I am going to describe what Gottman calls the “Four Horsemen of Apocalypse”. Gottman uses the metaphor for end of times (from the New Testament) to describe communication styles that predict the end of a relationship.
It is fairly common to dismiss needing help for your mental health. The dismissive thoughts can sound like ‘Is this significant/bad/big enough to need therapy?’ Or ‘It’s so bad, nothing could possibly help!’
Maybe you have told yourself ‘It’s nothing really, it will pass’ or ‘I just need to manage my time better’ or ‘There is just no way I can make time for therapy!’ or ‘I shouldn’t make such a big deal of it’
… if you find yourself wondering if indeed you should try counselling /therapy, then instead of shushing that voice, maybe you can allow yourself to stay with the question?
